Megha Rai

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."(ESV) I could sense a deep anxiety within me.I was peaceful and quiet from outside, busy with my daily chores yet something inside me was troubled. My soul felt heavy and I almost felt teary. It was the feeling of going through some tough trails. I lost my job during the pandemic, I was deeply concerned about the turn that my career will take now. I was deeply worried about my future, about my kid, about our provisions. More than that I was concerned not being able to share the financial burdens of my husband. I was concerned about my ministry. Lord has put in me a heart and a desire to minister but how in the world I will do it. One after another thoughts were piling up and finally guilt took me over.  Despite every effort I could see lif...

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." Jeremiah 1:5 Last week was a series of events which made me feel not enough. First during a conversation with a long time friend, we got on to a conversation regarding my faith in the lord. We have known each other for almost 10 years during our first job but then life happened and we lost contact with each other. I was not a believer back then. Lord crossed our paths again and I shared my faith in the lord with him which raised so many doubts and questions in his heart. He asked me so many questions which I tried to answer in the most honest way, however a feeling of unworthiness swept over me because I still don't know lord fully. There are still aspects and character of him that I need to understand which made me realise that I lack knowledge about the lord whom I love with all my heart, mind and soul. The seco...